Have you ever talked with someone and then felt the need to say: "Did you hear what I said?" Why you felt the need to ask? Probably because the listener does not give you the feedback you need to know that have been heard.
Listening is the most important but often neglected communication skill. In fact, the ability to listen is often considered one of the five largest employers seek in their personal ability. It 'also certainly highly sought after in the people nearest and dearest to our hearts.
Here are 10 ways to be an effective listener:
1. Recognize the difference between hearing and listening
* There is a very distinct difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is to hear only the sound.
* Listening is a conscious and aware and willing to listen, understand, and respond to others.
2. Be willing to listen
* Start with a commitment to listen - be open minded and consider other viewpoints.
* Listen regardless of whether you agree or disagree with what is said. Resist the temptation to jump conclusions; be defensive or argumentative with the speaker.
3. Be careful
* Stop what you're doing and give the speaker your attention. If it is a good time for you, defer the conversation.
* Ignore the desire to multi-task and selectively listen (only listening to bits and pieces of information).
* Stay at this time for the duration of the conversation - not in tune and out or pretend to listen when you're really thinking about where to go for your next vacation.
4. Show respect
* Others acknowledge with your body language - face the speaker, look interested, and eye contact.
* Avoid ending the conversation abruptly.
5. Empathize
* Being sensitive, compassionate and understanding - realize it may be difficult for the speaker to talk about this topic.
* Empathy does not mean that I agree with the speaker.
* Avoid thinking about how "one" the speaker with his own history of pain.
6. Be patient
* We often interrupt because we are afraid we forget our point (s). Do not interrupt - allow the speaker to finish what he / she has to say.
* Do not finish sentences because they think the speaker to be too long to get to the point.
* Focus on what is being said instead of what is expected to be told.
7. Eliminate interruptions and distractions
* When possible, speak in a neutral location to avoid interruptions and distractions.
* Be aware of and avoid interruptions - phones or pagers (use voice mail), visitors (close the door) and distractions (voice mail light, overflowing in box, incoming mail).
8. Notice is
* Focus on main points.
* Paraphrase and seek clarification of points that are unclear or do not understand.
9. Show you're actively listening
* Play with more than just your ears. Recognize and respond to the speaker with facial expressions (smile, a nod / shake your head, eye contact) and verbal comments ("I", "I understand", "ok", "Yes") to help the conversation.
10. Just listen
* Sometimes our idea of listening is to jump and give unwanted advice. Listening is not an open invitation to solve a dilemma. Just listen because often the speaker simply seeks a listen.
If you're a manager or employee, husband or wife, father or child, pastor or parishioner, friend or foe, listening is critical to the success of your relationship. Take the time to really listen to others and discover you can not only improve your relationship, you will reach a new level of overall success in your life. Apply these techniques today so you can enjoy a better tomorrow!
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