The high price of perfectionism
We pay a high price for perfectionism. "What is perfectionism?" We perfectionists mutter. "We have known for perfectionism years is not healthy so we addressed this issue and strive for personal excellence!" Really?
When you slip-up - perhaps with a situation, activity or a project less than perfection - what do you say to yourself? Are you able to praise you on what you did well and maybe then notice a thing or two could be improved upon? Or focus on the error or behavior far from perfect neglecting your positive efforts?
I recently completed six in the evening to facilitate "Leadership" sessions. Being only my second time, facilitating this particular series I watched closely my tendency "perfectionists. As I finished each session I could easily see the areas I improved.
Commend Yourself! Observe carefully improvements!
For me, it took a great effort to praise myself for what I had done well and be kind to myself on areas of improvement. In fact, I made an effort to congratulate myself out following each session and allowed myself the joy and relief to enjoy a job well done when the series of six is completed. This is not a simple process and natural for us perfectionists.
To carry out this exercise in self-recognition have not read my participant evaluations at the end of the program as usual. This was perhaps the first time in my fourteen years of facilitation. Too often, I rushed to read the reviews to determine my success.
Eventually I will get a summary of evaluations from the College who has been contracted to but more importantly, I have deepened my self-esteem and self worth through rewarding, congratulating and commending myself despite what others may think. To be a strong leader and human being healthy now begin recognizing our achievements, rather than devaluing our worth and work.
Here, you begin to wean ourselves from being reliant on outside influences to determine our value and how well we did. Begin to make friends with ourselves and set an internal "Judge less power over us.
Not only are we robbed of the enjoyment of our efforts, focusing on what went wrong and failing to recommend ourselves but also to embark on concern about the next thing we must do. When caught in this repetitive ritual of "not good enough ... do better ... do more ..." I found this very simple sentence release ...
Not perfect but quite good!
Feel the relief and comfort of this phrase, "not perfect, but pretty good!" Yes! Thank God! "Thank God" is another simple phrase that can help us relieve the burden of perfectionism. Not only have I worked on giving myself credit, but thank God for his part in my success. I know you must constantly turn to my God, my source, my higher power - call it what you will - for guidance in everything I do.
In the mind of the perfectionist is everything to me to do everything very, very good, but obviously - is never quite measuring up. The more I trust that God works in me and through me the more I can determine the heavy burden of perfectionism. It's not all me. My job is to "do my best and give the rest of God."
Do my best and giving God Rest
Even in the midst of our fear, doubt and inadequacy, we can comfort and encourage ourselves knowing that not all of us. Can we trust God is at work and everyone plays according to a large drawing much bigger than our understanding. Alcoholics Anonymous as a slogan, so simply says: "Let go and let God."
We can become better leaders and human beings and liberate us from the bondage of perfectionism practicing these few ideas.
1. Commend you on a job well done.
2. Be nice watching your areas of improvement.
3. Remember: "Not perfect, but pretty good!
4. Do your best and give the rest to God
What a relief to leave the responsibility to do everything and do it perfectly!
No comments:
Post a Comment